A young, middle-class Parsi couple decided to get married
and their families met over dhan-daar and tareli machhi to discuss the details.
The bride’s mother, a large and loud lady, declared: “Let’s
have a big fat Parsi wedding.”
Her not-so-large husband jibed, “With you in attendance, it
will definitely be both big and fat!”
“That’s not what I meant,” she snapped. “I keep reading in
the newspapers about all these fancy non-Parsi weddings – they call them big fat
Indian weddings. Let’s have a Parsi equivalent.”
The groom’s mother nervously asked: “Doesn’t that sort of
thing cost a lot of money? I read that a recent wedding cost over Rs. 50 crore
and they had 6,500 guests.”
The bride’s mother beamed, “Aapre bhi kai evha tevha nathee.
We can easily muster up 2000 guests. Tamhara bhi 1000 guests toh thussey?”
The groom’s father took out his hanky, wiped his forehead, and
confessed: “We’re thinking of restricting our invitations to close family and
friends, no more than about 350 people.”
The bride looked dejected. “Let’s discuss the functions. Apart
from the engagement, madasoro, adarni etc., I’d like to have a mehendi and
sangeet.”
Her father loudly protested, “Eh su badha naatak?”
The large mother snapped: “You have no clue what’s happening
in the world. Nowadays our Parsis are having these functions also. Why should
our daughter be deprived? At a recent high society parjat wedding they gifted foreign
cars and European holidays to guests who attended the sangeet. See how they grandly
celebrate their nuptials!”
The groom’s father spoke shakily: “How can we possibly match
these rich non-Parsis? I have just managed to buy a Tata Indica. And we holiday
every alternate year at one of the reasonable Parsi hotels in Panchgani.”
The bride demanded of the somberly silent groom: “Surely our
honeymoon will be at some foreign location? And you must upgrade your car soon.
Darling, please also tell your parents I like only diamond jewellery.”
Her mother added: “I read that a big fat wedding is incomplete
without an event manager. Aapru Jame recently wrote about a few…”
At this point the bride’s father, somewhat embarrassed by the
blabbering his wife and daughter, diplomatically concluded the meeting.
After they left, the groom’s mother fired him: “See how bossy
the girl and her mother are. Tu saano gup chup baisee rahyo without saying a
word? You will be totally henpecked.”
Her husband piped in: “My mother said the same thing at the
time of our marriage – but I lived happily henpecked thereafter! So will our son.”
And so it came to pass that another big fat Parsi wedding
was solemnized with pomp, show and an event manager!
